Mr. Barron, I'm ready for my Directors Cut

Today I was reading the esteemed blog of one Stephen "Murph" Murphy that Steve Barron, director of the first (and best) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, is not only cognizant of the possibility of a directors cut of said movie, but is also on board for the project. The only problem? Warner Bros. isn't so excited.

As a life-long TMNT fan, I salivate at the possibility of a new version of the film. Whether it be the most basic remastering of the original cut, an updated version with additional scenes and/or dialogue or a completely new cut that alters the pace, direction and tone of the movie, I will buy it and watch it over and over again.

Barron was quoted by Murph as saying "I have lots of original artwork and even a rough cut with a few extra scenes on tape. I think it would be nice to do a definitive release as the extras have always been very limited." Truer words were never spoken. When I bought the original TMNT collection I was sad that the only extras were a couple of, albeit well-researched, biography pages.

I am sure I am not alone.

Even if the extras don't get included on a disc, I am always up for a directors cut. Currently in my collection I own two directors cuts--Hellboy and Daredevil. Each gives a new light to an already brilliant movie.

The best part about these two directors cuts specifically, and most DCs in general, is that they allow for more characterization and great scenes that don't necessarily move the plot forward. Unfortunately, in today's world (I'm not too sure about the 90's when the first TMNT was released) the motion picture industry does not want to allow for such long, moseying plots. Everything that is character driven and not story based usually gets cut for time or for more action. Just ask Hulk star/writer Ed Norton.

So, if you are a TMNT freak like me, find some way to let Warner Bros. know that there is a market for this particular DVD, that it would sell and it would be a mistake not to produce it. Blog, comment, write letters, e-mail whatever it is you want to do, do it.

The Freshman pt. 2

As Kyle sauntered out of the bathroom and towards the table Conner notices that he seemed a bit less chipper than he usually does.
“Something wrong buddy?” Conner asked.
Kyle took some time, arranged his shirt, for comfort not for fashion and thought about the best way to say whatever he had to say. “I don’t like seeing you like this. Conner, I swear its like every time you get built up something knocks you down. It’s unfortunate because I know that you’re one of the greatest guys out there and don’t deserve anything you’ve been handed.”
“Kyle are you being sarcastic again? I mean isn’t that a little grand? It’s not like I’ve been falsely imprisoned, or brutally beaten or stricken by a deadly virus or anything like that. I’ve just got girl troubles up to here.”
“Yeah, but still you treat them like those other things, and I’m not saying its bad, though you can make it that way. But it’s who you are, Conner. It’s difficult to watch a friend who’s like you.”
“So what am I to do then?” Conner knew Kyle probably wouldn’t have an answer for him, and if he did it would be something that Conner didn’t want to hear. It was always like that, it was the nature of their relationship, Conner would ask Kyle for help and Kyle would offer any if he could but it was always the truth and never placated to Conner. That reason alone was the reason that Conner asked him.
Kyle thought for a bit, reached in his coat and pulled out his box of cigarettes. As he pulled one from the box he said “You see this cig right here?”
“Yeah.”
“This is you.”
“I’m a carcinogen?”
“Only to yourself,” Kyle lit the cigarette, “This is you because you burn, you are a passionate person, Conner. When you love or even feel attraction it’s never small,”
“I’ve never been ashamed of that nor have I ever felt it was a bad thing, Kyle.”
“It’s not,” quickly Kyle smashed the cigarette into the ash tray, “but this is also you, when the passion is gone, you’re crushed.” Conner, looked at him with intensity for a moment, bowed his head and slowly started to crack a smile. “What you need to do, my good friend, is to watch how often you burn.”
“So, oh wise one, how does one fire proof the flammable.”
Kyle bit his lower lip, he wanted to give Conner an answer, he wanted to tell him something that will make him feel better. “That I can’t tell you.”
“I didn’t think you could. Passion isn’t a crime, Kyle. Wanting to love and be loved is a basic human thing, man.”
“I didn’t say it was. The crime is a suicide of sorts, not arson.”
Conner smiled. “I love your metaphors dude.”
Kyle was quiet for a moment. “So, let’s hear it…” he said getting comfy in the booth.
“Hear what?”
“What ever story it is to tell.”
Conner breathed in deep and took a swig of his water. “You know about the whole thing with Vanessa in junior year? Right? I don’t have to tell you about that?”
“I recall most of it.”
“Well it was kind of like that. Only completely different.”
Kyle snickered and cracked a smile. “Go on Yogi.”
“Anyway, the first time I saw her she was as disheveled as anyone could be. Her hair was pulling away from her pony tail and some strands broke free of the small red rubber band to roam carelessly along her shoulders. Her face was red as the brisk weather created adverse conditions for walking from tennis practice to a warm meeting and still looking good. Then again, I was still attracted to her right away and I knew she would have some sort of power over me.”
“You wrote a poem about this, at some point, didn’t you, Jenkins?”
Conner said nothing but smiled and winked at his friend.
“Who was she? Did she have a name?”
“I was getting there, man. She was my newspaper editor. Dana Jessen originally from Detroit, moved to Cali in high school and for no good reason ended up in the middle of PA for college.”
“Nordic?” Kyle was always big on origins. Being somewhat of a bastard himself he had a certain predilection with people’s beginnings. Although the parents that he knew died when he was very young, Kyle never felt alone in life. From foster family to foster family Kyle never acted out as a troubled youth and would always volunteer to be removed to make room for a child who needed more than he did. He was the kind of person that could talk to anyone at any place at any time and he did pretty much just that A very approachable demeanor and a combination of earthy tones and a well managed goatee made Kyle stick out in the minds of anyone who had ever met him. The fact that he stood at over 6’3” didn’t hurt either. A gentle giant to say the least, but Kyle hated to be called that.
“I don’t know. She was big on Greenland though, said it was lovely.”
“So she was out of your league?”
“Now, from what I’ve just said you’ve already concluded that I wasn’t good enough for her?”
“Conner, you know it’s not that. I’m just saying she’s seen the world, probably very well versed on America as well. You’ve never been out of the country or very far from Lancaster.”
“Hey! I’ve been to Canada… yeah; she was out of my league. But she never acted like it. She was so sweet and helpful. She talked to me before class about anything. She liked hockey and I came to find out later that she actually PLAYED hockey too.”
Kyle smiled knowing how much little things like that excite Conner, especially when about hockey or music. Conner was one of those people that believed ‘what you like’ is almost as important as ‘what you are like.’

The Freshman pt. 1

He walked into the smoky café, passed the bar and gave a nod to the man behind the counter. He was happy to be home. Kyle was sitting at their normal booth and was wearing his usual brown sweater/green scarf combination with his hair disheveled as always and his sleeves rolled up with the button up shirt sticking out under the cuffs. Kyle didn’t change at all and for that Conner was thankful. However, not everything steadfast in his life made Conner happy.

“Hey, Kiddo!” This was Kyle’s favorite way to greet Conner; he knew it made Conner feel oddly special. Although Kyle was in fact almost a full year younger than Conner, he had a lifetime of experiences that made him older in every other way. Conner looked up to his younger but taller confidante.

“So I thought that college was supposed to be this whole other thing, so much better than high school where people are smarter, girls are more intelligent and I might actually find some semblance of order to society.” Conner said as he sat down he took his cap off, ran his hand through his hair, which is unusually long for Conner, put the cap back on his head backwards and pulled the brim down to touch the back of his neck.

“Well, my friend, you were grossly misinformed. I’m sorry.” Kyle took a drag from his cigarette and quickly put it out because he knew how much Conner can’t stand smoke. “C’mon, Conner, you didn’t really think things would be that different only one year removed, did you?”

“No, not me anyway but maybe other people.” Conner said with a look in his eyes as if to say, “I know your right but I’m going to try to get out of this.”

“Yeah, I guess they could be different. But people are people and life is always going to throw you curve balls.” They got up to go order even though everyone in the place knows what they wanted by now. The two have been coming to this particular café for about five years though Conner never drinks anything but his own bottle of water and Kyle always gets a small regular coffee. The manager says that they add to the ambiance and attract a younger crowd and has never had a problem with them. Every once in a while they will order lunch or dinner but today their meeting is strictly business.

Conner and Kyle have known each other since the second grade. Kyle was a compulsive liar with a great imagination, and Conner, who feels diminutive when around normal sized people, was less shy and a lot less reserved. Not much has changed for Kyle, though now his lies become wonderful stories and his height, along with his stereotypical poet goatee, only hide his placidness and gentle nature.

“Any more clichés you want to throw at me there, buddy?” After they ordered, as if they had to, they found their way back to their booth and some time passed without conversation, its normal, being friends for so long Kyle and Conner had reached the point of knowing what the other was going to say without them saying. “But you know what really pisses me off about college dude?”

“Everything?” Kyle asked with a sarcastic and cynical grin on his face.

“No, it’s the fact that I haven’t really even learned anything. I mean they say you can find yourself; well apparently I found myself and guess what, I already knew me. I mean the same crap is happening to me in college as it did back in McCaskey, and I deal with it the same way. Nothing has changed.”

“You need a tissue?”

“Yeah I know. I’m whining. I get it.” Conner looked down at his bottle of water and fell into a retrospective state. Seeing the break in conversation Kyle stood up and made his way to the bathroom. While Kyle was otherwise occupied Conner scanned around the café. There were a handful of couples there, the youngest of which were probably in their late twenties. He started to wonder how they got together, what they may have gone through to get to this point. None of them seemed as though they are in love, or at least not the love that he knew, which probably wasn’t really any love at all. No one conveyed “I need you,” with their body language or had that “I’d die for you,” look in their eyes. They seemed mostly like opposite sex acquaintances not couples.

Stuck in a rut...

So I've been pretty lax on the blogosphere lately. Can't really come up with a good topic right now. Hopefully something more interesting will come along soon but for now, you're going to have to make do with me posting my works of short fiction. Enjoy, any and all comments are welcome and encouraged. Thanks!

The last test I took and will ever have to...

Although it took me about two hours and thirty minutes to complete, I had a great time taking the last test of my college career. The class was Film Criticism and the reason why it was fun is that the last question was something I've something I've thought about and been asked before. Though I don't remember it word for word, the gist was this:

Imagine that over the summer you are at a family reunion. Your uncle Joe Bob starts to talk to you about what you did at college and you tell him you took a Film Criticism class. "You took a class about movies!?! In my day we had to walk up hill both ways 20 miles in the snow to earn college credit. How do you take a class about movies?! What's next? A class on Pokemon?"

We had to respond to Joe-Bob in either an essay or a script. I, of course, chose the script and my answer was very pertinent to this blog so I figured I would post it. Enjoy:

Shaun:

First off, Joe Bob, I'm pretty sure some college out there does offer a course on the cultural relevance of Pokemon. But let me address your question at hand. It is not a class on movies. It is a class on film. We didn't sit around and discuss what the director really meant by Dude, Where's My Car? We talked about films.

Joe Bob:

What's the difference?

Shaun:

The difference, Joe Bob, is all the difference. I agree with you that certain movies do not offer much to say and would be better dealt with in dorm rooms and/or coffee shops. The aforementioned Aston Kutcher debacle being one of them. However, there are films out there that have things to say that are relevant to culture and education. After all, we go to college to expand our horizons, to understand the world around us and to general become better educated people. Mostly we do so by reading books or analyzing poetry but some colleges are progressive and intelligent enough to do so through film as well. That is what this course did for me.

Joe Bob:

So you're telling me that watching Fast Times at Ridgemont High really expanded your horizons?

Shaun:

While I'm sure that Spicolli has much to say about American youth, we did not watch Fast Times. (Voice Over: But thanks for showing your age) The horizons I'm talking about are ones dealing with other film genres and movements. For example, we watched a film called Breathless. It is a part of what is called French New Wave. Now, before I took this class, I would have scoffed at the sound of it.

Joe Bob:

Sounds like a bunch of poets in berets eating scones, sipping wine and talking about painting or surrendering.

Shaun:

Well, that's kind of what I would have thought to. (Voice Over: If I was a xenophobic bigot.) But, through this class, I learned that I really enjoy the basic tenants of the French New Wave. Also, Breathless has become one of my favorite films. I mean if someone would have said to me that French New Wave was just thinly veiled plot with boringly cinematic two shots of dialogue-heavy scenes riddled with pop-culture references I would have said, "Sounds like a Kevin Smith movie! Where do I sign?"

Joe Bob:

Ok, Ok, but these 'films' don't make you any smarter or a better thinker.

Shaun:

Wrong again, Joe Bob. Certain films can help you understand larger topics that permeate all life, not just film or pop culture. Take, for instance, The Crying Game.

Joe Bob:

Nuh-uh. No Way! I ain't touchin' that penis. ... Uh- I mean picture.

Shaun:

Right. Well Freudian slips aside, Neil Jordan's film deals with topics like gender, sexuality and even race. These discussions can go way beyond films and pop culture. I mean whether you're learning about sexuality of transvestites (through Dill and Jimmy's relationship), or homo social bonding (through Fergus and Jody's ambiguous sexual tension), there are tons of discussions that start with film and end in our own lives. Films are just one way to relate theory or philosophy to our own feeble little existences.

Joe Bob:

Ok. So you learn about gay stuff in crappy British movies and not about movies themselves. I guess I can see that.

Shaun:

Well, unfortunately that's strike three. We did, in order to find the big topics and the director's voice, have to learn about aspects of mis-en-scene, cinematography, editing and other film making techniques. For instance, because of this class I can tell you how the cinematography in Run, Lola, Run was used to heighten tension, avoid budget and logistical issues, as well as create a visual style that supports the arguments of the film. Or, I can tell you how brilliant the editing was in Hitchcock's Psycho and how it was used to disorient and panic the audience during Janet Lee's infamous shower scene.

Joe Bob:

Janet Lee? Isn't she that karate star?

Shaun:

That's Bruce Lee.

Joe Bob:

Oh, the huge guy from Hairspray?

Shaun:

That's Bruce Valance

Joe Bob:

Oh, the musician that died with Buddy Holly and the Big Bopper?

Shaun:

That's Ritchie Valins! Am I getting through to you at all?

Joe Bob:

I guess a little. But that last point made you sound like kind of a snob.

Shaun:

I must admit that that is one of the perks of the class. It's fun to wow people with your knowledge of film and get a couple more Jeopardy questions right. We are all entitled to our own fits of snobbishness every once in a while. After all, isn't that how this whole conversation got started?

Joe Bob:

Uh...

Shaun:

Exactly. Look my point is this, Joe Bob. Films are important to our culture. We are a pop culture driven society and we learn more news from the Daily Show and the Colbert Report than we do from CNN. This class showed us said importance by expanding our horizons, forcing us to think critically and by increasing our knowledge of films in general. Films are no different than literature as far as educational value goes. It's just a different type of text.

Joe Bob:

Ok, I guess you're right. I mean maybe films can be useful in a classroom setting.

Shaun:

Yup. Films and other pop culture are definitely worth exploring in college. Heck, I even wrote a handful of papers on comic books.

Joe Bob:

COMIC BOOKS!?!?!

Shaun:

(Voice Over: Here we go again...)

I've made a huge mistake...

Yeah, I did. When I did my list of favorite characters in video games, one name was regretfully and atrociously left off the list.
That's right its the big green guy himself, no not Slimer or the TMNT (because they don't come from video games). It's YOSHI!



Whether its in his debut game, Super Mario World for SNES, the many incarnates of Mario Kart or the newest Mario & Sonic at the Olympic games, I love playing as this little dino. If a level meant that I had to leave my ride behind in SMW, I would hate to play it. He's so cute when he runs away after you get hit, and his little legs go back and forth so quickly. Yoshi is the man and I cannot believe that left him off that list. I am sorrowfully remiss in my bloggographic duties. Good day. (and if you got that last line, you are awesome!)

A matter of character...

It's been such a long time. (Pardon me a minute while I launch into "Long Time" by Boston in my head...Rock Band is the bane of my existence)

Anyway, I kind of need to easy back into this whole blog thinger. I'm thinking the best way to do so would be to start with a list. But a list of what?

O.K. so here is the part where I would come up with a funny list of about 3-4 topics that I came up with but ultimately rejected. But, because it's been such a grand hiatus from blogging, I'm going to cut to the quick and tell you I decided on...The Best (which we all know translates to : My Favorite) Video game characters!

Let's kick it off old school shall we? *Note: I'm gonna keep this list Kid Oriented. Why? Just feel like it is all*

Luigi--This taller, more in-shape Italian always intrigued me more than his more rotund, less vertically endowed brother. He can jump higher, he can run a bit faster and he's got a better color choice. Green means go and I always went with this classic, but underrated character.

Kranky Kong-- Ancillary characters unite! Yeah, I only know him from Donkey Kong Country where you never actually get to play as him, or see him all that much. However, this cantankerous curmudgeon always made me laugh. I love the animated rocking chair and that beard can give Rip Van Winkle a run for his money.

Croc--A forgotten gem of the PS1, this little amphibian (reptile?) was the star of a very fun platformer. With some of the best sound effects and exclamations this little guy was fun not just for the hand and eye, but also for the ears. If you can find a copy of this oldie but goodie, snag it up and enjoy.

Slippy Frog--He's always been my wingman and no, I don't mean he's helped me pick up chicks. While I was tooling through the galaxy trying to defeat whatever bad guy or evil that was descending on the world as Fox McCloud (btw, one of the best names in videogames) this guy was always by my side along with his friends, saving my tail when it got too close to the proverbial flames. Rrrubbnt rrbbb rrbbberrrrr. *If you have to ask, you won't get it.

Iggy Koopa-- By far the coolest of the Koopa kids, this mohawked, four-eyed little dude was always a pleasure to destroy and a favorite of mine. One of only two bad guys on the list, Iggy is a descendant of the baddest mo-fo to ever hit the Nintendo system (I don't care which one, he's been on them all), Bowser. This kid was hyper, crazy and very punk rock, I was always sad when I defeated him.

I-Ninja--Another lesser-known character this big-headed martial artist is the protagonist of the game with the same name. Fun as hell and a rush to play, the game was quite unique. Often finding himself in the middle of giant plastic balls or rolling on top of powder kegs, I-Ninja is an aggressive dude who loves to cause destruction and mayhem. His power is matched only by his anger. Mr. Miagi would have a lot to say about this character. Soooo young, soooo angry.

Tails--We'll finish the list off with the character I have had the least experience with. Besides the new Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games, I never owned a SEGA and thus never owned a game with Tails in it. I'm a fan of sidekicks and this one is a great example. Loyal, a bit inept and very eager, Tails was always portrayed as the red-headed step-child of Sonic. I think that's a bit of a bad rap. The little dude always looked so sad when he lost all his rings. He's just endearing and, yeah, let's face it, cute.

So there you have it my top (how many did i have...1,2,3,4,5,6..7? That's an odd number. Not 5. Not 10. 7? I guess I'll run with it) seven video game characters of all time in the kiddy category. Of course the list would be quite different if I was including characters like Solid Snake, Sub Zero and Zangief. Well actually it would probably be this list plus Solid Snake, Sub Zero and Zangief...so there's your top 10 for ya.